Written by Mark Douglas
Directed by Tom Small

lyrics

GAGA
First of all this song is not as good as Bad Romance
And its not even close Poker face or Just Dance

So I will distract them by getting half naked
And throw everything at them but the kitchen sink sink

The kitchen sink sink
What do you think think?
I will prove that I dont have a penis wink wink

First Ill get stripped naked by some burly prison guards
Then make out with a shemale in the prison yard yard

BEYONCE
This video seems goofy you should just do it alone
Besides Im getting sick of all these songs about phones

GAGA
You bail me out of jail then we pause for some bad dialogue
We poison everyone including a cute dog

Then we start to dance and theres dead people everywhere
As usual Ill have lots crazy crap in my hair

PPPPPPPPProduct Placement
Hide the ddead bodies in the bbbasement

Blood and guts and boobs and buts
And I just want to make your head explode

Beep beep beep bbbeep beep beep
That was Lady Gaga in Morse code

BEYONCE
If you think Im doing this
Then youre a crazy bastard
You musta blown a gasket
Are you trippin on acid
As a child were you abused by some big crazy bastard
And did he ever make you place the lotion in the basket

BEYONCE
I just want to do a simple shoot with dancin
You used to be a diva now youre Marilyn Manson

GAGA
Youre gonna do my video and do it my way
Or something bad might happen to your family ay

BEYONCE
My family ay

GAGA
Thats right Beyonce

GAGA
A piano might accidentally fall on Jay Z

BEYONCE
Somebody help me cus I dont want sing anymore
Shes got a gun to my head on the dance floor

GAGA
Rubadubdub three nuns in a tub
And their doin it with a garden Gnome

BEYONCE
Please dont beat me up but I have to ask what
does that have to do with a telephone?